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Just placing my story here for now. I will dress up this page at a later time...
Funtosee, the Dwarf, the Abridged
Funtosee, the Dwarf
Written by: Artsie_ladie, aka Sharon Donnelly
© 2006/01/01
Written for the Elftown Prose Contest: Prose Contest - Fairy Tales
Total Word Count: 2000 (abridged version; shortened for the contest specifically)
  Once upon a time, when there were castles and kings, elves and fairies and a world of Fantasy, there was a dwarf different from other dwarfs. Because of his difference, he thought that he was banned from the kingdom where he had always lived. Thinking as such, perhaps by some wrong information, gossip, he left his kingdom and set out to find a new place to live. In the pouring rain he began his journey out into the countryside. After wondering all through the night, tired, hungry, wet and cold, he saw a little farmhouse at dawn, so he walked up the front steps and knocked on the door...


   "Hey, look, Alley!

   "Hey, look, Alley! Come, see who's standing at our door!"

   "Just a minute," Alley hollered. "I'm done fixing breakfast. Jacob, come and eat, while it's still warm." 

   "I'm coming." He looked at the little creature and said. "My sister's calling. I have to eat my breakfast now." 

   The dwarf nodded.

   Then, Jacob turned and headed for the kitchen. 

   Just then, Alley came stomping into the entranceway. "Jacob, get in the kitchen!" she demanded. She gave a glancing look towards the front door. "And, you are?" Alley asked, peering at the stranger. She was left in charge, while their aunt and uncle had journeyed to their Grandmother's house. 

   The sopping, wet dwarf backed up a step. Alley, though hesitant, said, "You might as well come in!"

   The dwarf gingerly took a couple of steps just inside the open door. His squishy, water logged shoes made puddles where he stood. His pointy hat's brim sagged with water. His poor excuse of a coat was tattered and torn. He looked lean and frail as he stood trembling, cold and wet. 

   "Can you talk?" she asked. "What is your name? Where do you live?" Alley had so many questions, as usual. 

   Just then, Jacob came bouncing into the room. 

   "Calm down!" Alley exclaimed, as she grabbed Jacob's arm. "Sit down."

   With resistance, Jacob sat, but whined. "Oh, come on, Alley. I'm curious, too."  

   "Well, he's cold, wet and doesn't need you bombarding him with your silly questions." Alley stated. "Besides, if you really want to help, go find some of your old clothes that you've outgrown. Our guest needs a warm, dry, change of clothing." 

   "Yeah, right!" Jacob replied. "Like my clothes are going to fit him!"

   "Just do as I ask," Alley insisted. 

   Jacob mumbled. "Alright." Then, he slowly exited up the stairway towards the attic. 

   Again, Alley asked the dwarf. "What is your name? Can I get you something?" she added. 

   "Funtosee," the dwarf said, faintly. 

   "Ohhh," Alley nodded, puzzled. "Um, why that name?" 

   Funtosee bowed his head. "Cuz... cuz... I dunno'," he shrugged. 

   "There must be a reason," Alley insisted. "Let's see, now," she thought aloud. "Are you a lot of fun?"  

   "I dunno'," the dwarf pouted. 

   "Okay, we don't have to do this, now. I'll get you a nice cup of steaming, hot broth. It will warm your belly and you'll feel much better." Alley gave Funtosee a forgiving grin, then left the room to get some broth. 


   Meanwhile, Jacob was up in the attic, supposedly, looking for his old clothes. He had found some old trousers, shirts and socks with no mates, but no shoes, just an old pair of worn out, fuzzy slippers. For the fun of it, he tried to squeeze his feet into them, but to no avail. He still loved those puppy slippers! Regretfully, he laid them aside. At that moment his old, toy chest caught his eye. Jacob ran over to investigate some forgotten memories, though quite dusty. As he started to take out some toy trucks and cars, he heard a commanding voice. It was his sister calling to him.  

   "Jacob! What's taking you so long?" Alley called up from the kitchen.

   "Coming," he reluctantly answered, as he gathered up his findings. He took another quick look around and vowed to himself to return later. 

   As he clambered down the stairs, trying not to lose anything along the way, he started to daydream about re-investigating some of his old toys he hadn't played with in a long time and tried to recall what was hiding in that old chest. He was about halfway down the stairs, when he lost his footing. He stumbled and went rolling down, everything tumbling right along with him. Luckily, he wasn't hurt for his head had landed on a fuzzy slipper! 

   Alley heard the commotion. She came running in. "Are you alright? she asked, then burst out laughing! 

   "What's so funny?" Jacob moaned.

   Alley pointed to the bottom of the banister. Still laughing, she said, "Just look at that!" The fuzzy, puppy slipper was hooked on the end of it with its mouth wide open and its ears laid back, but the eyes were loose. They appeared to be bulging in amazement. 

   As Jacob stood up, he picked up the duds he had retrieved from the attic. "Ha, ha ha", he said, mocking her sense of humor. 

   "Okay," Alley admitted. "Maybe not to you, but... never mind. Let's go check on our guest in the living room." She lifted the fuzzy slipper off the banister. 

   As they entered the room, their mouths dropped. They stood frozen, for they couldn't believe their eyes! 
  The dwarf, not noticing an audience, was humming a tune and dancing to a beat for his ears only. He moved with surprising gracefulness. His soggy, wet shoes, tattered coat and afghan had been tossed aside. His feet lightly caressed the floor as he danced and pranced around the room. He performed acrobatic somersaults without losing a beat. When he snapped his fingers, there in a puff, a fairy princess appeared. Together, like magic, they moved as one. They giggled and laughed, exhibiting fun! 

   The entrancing scene would have continued, if Jacob hadn't sneezed.  

   "Oops!" Jacob whispered, as he covered his nose and mouth and looked at Alley.

   Alley glared at her brother. 

   "Sorry!" Jacob whispered again.

   They both looked back at the living room, but it was sadly still. There sat the dwarf, shivering, with the afghan draped around him as before. Alley and Jacob approached him. In unison, they blurted out, "Why did you stop dancing?"

   Funtosee hugged the afghan a wee bit tighter, rolled his eyes and innocently asked, "What do you mean?" 

   "Oh, come on," Jacob insisted. "You were just dancing. We saw you!" 

   Alley nodded. "Yes, Funtosee. We just saw you dancing and doing somersaults with a fairy!" Alley glanced around. "Where's the fairy?" 

   "Okay! Okay! I admit it. Now what? What are you going to do now, knowing I do such, silly things?" The dwarf, gripped in fear, pulled the afghan even tighter around him. 

   "Do to you?" Alley cried out. "Why would we do something to you?" 

   "Yeah, why?" Jacob chimed in.  

   Funtosee relaxed and cleared his throat. He felt it was safe to tell his story, now. 


  He explained that in his homeland kingdom, dwarves weren't allowed to do anything, but make things, fix them and run errands. They weren't allowed to mingle with the elves or fairies and were forbidden to entertain anyone. He went on and explained that he had been caught entertaining some elves and fairies by one of the servants. Therefore, the gossip was that he was banished from the kingdom. He further explained he was looking for some caves in the hills to live in.  

   The threesome decided, then, to prepare for an adventuresome cave-searching journey.


   As they started out on their new adventure, it was much warmer now and the birds were chirping cheering them on. To achieve their final destination, however, they'd have to pass through a thickly wooded area, of which unsavory tales had described. As they neared the eerie woods, they clung together for security. 

   They hadn't gotten very far into the woods, when a huge bird swooped down from a cliff, so closely over them, that his wing brushed Alley's head. He perched on a huge boulder just in front of them. He screeched so loudly their ears rang. The threesome stopped dead in their tracks. 

   "What do you s'pose he's trying to tell us?" Alley asked.  

   "Gee, I don't know." Jacob looked concerned. 

   Suddenly, the massive bird flew up, circling them several times.  

   "I think he's trying to tell us something," Funtosee suggested. 

   "Hmm, perhaps, you're right. Let's follow him." Alley motioned with her head. 

   They all agreed to follow. It took them back out of the woods, which made the trio confused and anxious, for they realized the bird was beckoning them straight for the castle! 

   "No! No!" Funtosee cried. "I can't go back! I can't! I can't! I'll be thrown into the pit of spiders and snakes!" He struggled to free himself from Alley's arms, wriggling and squirming.

"Stop!" Alley scolded him. "You, too!" She ordered Jacob. "We need to figure out what to do here, before we go any further."

   As the trio contemplated their next move, they became unaware of their immediate surroundings. 

   A piercing scream shattered their thoughts as the huge bird was circling again. They knew without doubt, he was announcing a warning. They frantically scoped the area around them. 

   Suddenly, three gnomes appeared, carrying shiny swords, swinging them threateningly. 

   Alley wailed. Funtosee trembled, abandoning the thought of freeing himself from Alley's grasp. Jacob stood motionless. 

   The gnome with a raspy voice, stepped forward and said, "We only want your treasure. Hand it over!" 

   Petrified, Alley squeaked. "What treasure? We have no treasure!"

   The shorter one stepped forward and glared at Alley. "Don't lie to me, girl. You're holding the treasure that we're seeking!" 

   "I-I am? W-where? W-what?" She stammered. 

   "That little thing you're holding in your arms is as good as any treasure. Therefore, he's treasure to us and we mean to take him! So, give him to us and we shall let you live," stated the long-bearded gnome.  

   "No!" Alley squeezed Funtosee so tightly he groaned. 

   Just then, the bird, their guardian friend, dive-bombed the long-bearded gnome and sent him, along with his sword, flying through the air, like snapped off twigs. His sword stuck high into a tree, while he lay motionless beneath. 

   At that moment, Jacob's fear subsided, as he remembered his magic sword. Quickly, he drew it from its sheath. 

   "Aye-ya!" Jacob yelled. "Who wants to challenge my magic sword?" 

   The two gnomes remaining, roared with laughter. They stepped towards Jacob and said. "Just what do you think you're going to do with that?" They laughed some more. 

   Jacob's eyes narrowed as he glared with anger and defiance at the two sneering gnomes. He swung his sword, wildly, missing his targets. 

   The gnomes roared louder with laughter! 

   Alley screamed, "Jacob, don't make things worse." 

   Jacob told Alley to shush and advanced toward the gnomes. Again, he swung. His aim was forceful and true, this time, as his sword collided with theirs, snapping them into like they were toothpicks. As the magic sword glowed brightly, not one could believe their eyes! Defeated, the gnomes disappeared into the woods. 

   The bird squawked, again, reminding them of their pending journey.


   They looked at one another, trying to figure out what to do. Funtosee noticed an awesome light, a rainbow of colors, over his homeland.

   Funtosee tugged on Alley's sleeve. "Look!" He exclaimed. All three became entranced at the awesome, magical vision of light! 

   Minutes later, a fast-approaching sound, a marching band, shattered the silence. They turned to run, but an elf leaped into their path. 

   Startled, they froze like statues. 

   "Be not afraid," said the little elf. "I have a message for Funtosee." 

   Funtosee snuggled down deeper into the security of Alley's arms. 

   "Okay, what is it?" Jacob inquired, now confident of his magic sword.  

   "Well," the elf started. "The king has a search underway for Funtosee. He wants him returned to the kingdom."

   "What for?" Alley asked with much skepticism.

   "The king wants Funtosee to take charge of the kingdom's entertainment. He heard about his delightful, acrobatic, twirling dances. The king's made new laws allowing dwarves to have more privileges. There's someone else, too, that awaits his return."  

   With this said, the elf blew his whistle. Some guards and a chariot came around the bend. The bird, perched nearby, squawked his approval. The elf bowed and said, "Your escort awaits!"

   As they climbed aboard the king's chariot lined in velvet and gold, there waiting, was the fairy princess! All cheered for little Funtosee, for he was about to be welcomed royally in the land known as Fantosee.....that's Fantasy!

The moral: Don't believe gossip that you hear.

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